Пожалуй, я сюда это повешу. Это меня вчера понесло. Про киношный эпизод в Бри.
Посвящается оскорбленным Питером Джексоном чувствам хоббитофилов после просмотра FotR.
Публикуется впервые.
They came to Bree at nightfall, soaking wet from pouring rain.
'That stupid Gandalf, I will never talk to him again!',
thought Frodo. Then they all went in and asked for lots of beer.
The Inn was crowded, dirty, noisy, dark and somewhat queer.
Then Merry lost control and got himself a whole pint.
And that's when he's supposed to hunt the Nazgul outside!
He's gonna be like that all movie, acting like a crook.
Keep cool, you Tolkien fans, he's not like Merry in the book.
And Frodo didn't ask for beer, he's not the drinking kind.
He sat there brooding, mad and sad: the Ring was on his mind.
Then suddenly across the hall they saw an ugly guy.
The guy was drinking like a fish and puffing on his pipe.
Concerned was Sam, and Frodo had this very frightened look.
Be patient, Tolkien fans, he's not like Frodo in the book.
But he had reasons to be scared, for man looked pretty wild.
Apparently, he hadn't shaved his face for quite a while.
'Oh shit', thought Frodo, 'I can bet he knows about the Ring!'
Next moment, Pippin did this very stupid thoughtless thing.
He's gonna do an awful lot of stupid things, young Took,
Relax, you Tolkien fans, he's not like Pippin in the book.